Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Day 23

Today my mood plummeted. Really low and cried so hard this morning I thought I would need to call in sick to work. Managed to get there via GP surgery who cannot see me until October but then why was I there anyway? What do I say is wrong? Maybe, I am desperate to have a child and four week cycles are too long for to wait for an outcome and it's too hard when it's a negative at the end, even though I cannot be sure it is a negative? OH says I am acting crazy which I think I agree with. I feel like I am possessed with something which is torturing my head. It is so painful to want a child so badly, to struggle to conceive and for it to be so out of your control. I still feel symptomatic but lesser so I would say. This is what set me off this morning as my nipples felt back to normal. They have burned a little throughout the day and my back still hurts but I feel like I am giving up on the possibility of being pregnant. One of my friends text me today to tell me she has just had a miscarriage. This will be her second one in a year. It was twins this time. She has a daughter already. I don't know how I would manage to go on if this happened to me again. I cannot bear to think of the prospect.

Have been meaning to link to an article I helped create by the BBC. I am of course, name changed, Jane from Glasgow. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-14370824

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